Purple and yellow lack harmony on any color wheel I've encountered.

Easter is not my favorite holiday. Sorry. Had to get that out. I hate ham and you can't avoid ham. And the weather is unpredictable which makes dressing a family in cute coordinated outfits a real pain. It's a different date every year and that is additionally frustrating. Boo. Any holiday that forces lavender and yellow together is absurd. In my opinion.


I understand and appreciate the religious significance of Easter. The forgiveness of sins, of which I have many, and the opportunity to start new is an appealing notion. I particularly like feeling absolved during spring when everything is creeping back to life. The miracle of nature reawakening is a spirit booster for sure. But beyond the blooming bulbs and shocks of forsythia, my fondness ends and my allergies kick in and I get all itchy and irritated.


Furthermore, it's one thing to keep the charade of Santa Claus going with a kid who recently turned ten. Santa isn't at all realistic but he is human and he does get help from the elves and he's jolly and magic and you can always fall back on the magic. But the Easter Bunny is ridiculous. Big rabbit with eggs. Lu has been suspiciously quiet on the topic, though she did agree to pose for a picture. This mall Easter Bunny, with his hands folded and limp bow tie, makes me very nervous.

Lu is her solid and steady self. Bea is losing her shiz. 
Edy is over-compensating for lost shiz.
Bunny is plotting a bloody rampage.
Happy Easter!

Memories of my childhood Easters are fuzzy (like a baby chick that bites). I remember stressing over my outfit (then, as in now), going to church a lot, eating mounds of candy to the point of sickness, the strong scent of vinegar while dying eggs, the strong scent of hyacinth and lilies, passing on anything sprinkled or stuffed with coconut, and dodging ham like the plague.


Speaking of the plague, my church held a yearly egg hunt among graves and that was more fun than morbid. So many places to hide those sweet little pastel orbs! The graveyard at my childhood church is an anthropological gem. There are Civil War soldiers and a monument to a family lost on the Titanic. There are also several generations of my father's family and my poor mother plopped in the middle. I like my in-laws okay, but would rather not spend eternity as neighbors. One of these days, I might dig her up. Relax. It's just ashes and I'm just kidding.


My Nanny, my mother's mother, came to stay with us every Easter. She didn't drive so she would catch a Greyhound from New Jersey and we'd pick her up at a local bus stop carrying her suit case and always wearing a scarf to protect her sprayed-in-place hairstyle. Sadly, I don't have many vivid memories of her, except that she was soft spoken and very, very thin.


I do have fond memories of Passover and attending a Seder conducted by my best friend's grandfather. He was a central figure in the early days of Philadelphia's rock 'n roll scene. I thought it was neat then, but now I think it was an awesome honor. And boy do I love a square of matzo with margarine. I'd choose that over your best ham on your best day! 


What are your memories of Easter or Passover or the Spring Equinox if that suits you better?


P.S. I enjoy other pig products. Bacon, pulled pork, bacon. I will even eat ham in sandwich form on occasion with mustard and crusty bread. But I'd rather eat bacon.